..not for Beauty

in-between love: this was no kind of love

it’s hard to watch your sadness swim like that, in and out the corners of your mouth. your shoulders a heavy mass, mountains weighing into them. we fell in love a summer i wasn’t sure of anything. but i became sure of you, rising with you like you knew what it was to fly and i wanted to be free with someone for once, not chained to the dark of them. you were beautiful, the kind of beautiful that resonates with everything around it. all those late nights, your smile would hold and i would watch your teeth. it made me at ease, a little more present, a little more ready. then time has a way of digging into things, tearing into them - one minute i’m a woman making good and the next a woman that is stripping so much skin everything in the room begins to feel putrid, piling up on itself. i started to believe it was okay to be bare, confusing how naked and bare are nothing alike. i kept carving into myself leaving nothing left to love. i’m surprised you’ve stayed so long. you are leaving, bodies have a way of knowing these things long before they come. sometimes it’s in the first meeting, the first fleshy moment, the part where you begin to love: when people will come, and how they will house themselves and set up like a love song you already know, and when they will leave, and how it will sound - even how they will pack up and move on. you, you will look back to find a burning house that couldn’t be put out eventually become a vacant plot of ash and ash and sorry ash. and in the ache, right in the thick of it, we will both know you always deserved more. this was no kind of love, not for a man like you.

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There comes a point when the pain gets so bad that the only One who can help is God..

Nothing anyone can say matters..

No alcohol or weed can dull the ache..

The only remedy comes from the Master Healer..

Lord I need you so bad..

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*cues breakdown*

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184

Reblog

teachingliteracy:

tfios.
(by Halvolord)

My hardest battle is the one I have against my pride..

I’m losing..

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My Mother Threw Me Off a Cliff by Johnathan Tillman

My mother threw me off a cliff.
She dropped me off the face of the earth like a tear down the Africa of her cheek.
It was an oasis fleeing from the Sahara in her eyes.

Deserted.
Never had being close to the reason why I’m alive felt like slow death.
The heat and loneliness while searching for a place to land mocked me with each step.
Any offered help was dismissed as a mirage.
And the gravity of distance became so presence since her pull was gone.

My mother threw me off a cliff.
She launched me into space as if she wanted an extra satellite.
I obliged.
No words.
Just an understanding to be who I am.
And instead of looking for somewhere to stand,
I learned to fly and wield the galaxy in my hand
That heat and loneliness was from within
So I spread my wings
Became the Sun
And I’ve been shining ever since.

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Always gotta be worried about some next bitch..

Excuse my language; I’m pissed..

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Is sex really that important??
What if someone you’re planning on dating doesn’t want to have sex?
Mind you.. You guys are serious.. But not official as of yet.. Take into consideration that even after you two are in a relationship, the significant other may still not want to have to sex..

Will you
1) keep having sex with other people because you “have needs”?
2)stop having sex all together?
3) stop seeing that person?

Does it depend on their reason for not wanting to have sex?
Is it different for men and woman??
Is sex really SUCH a necessity that once you’ve dabbled in it.. There’s NO way you can give it up??

I need answers..

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Well look at that.. You’re just like everyone else..

Surprise surprise..

Eff me for giving another nigga the benefit of the doubt..

Can’t believe this crap..

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I have nothing to say anymore.. I feel so empty.. I’m losing myself.. I swear I am..

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Not pretty enough to go natural -_-
No comments please
Thanks

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I think I’m slipping into some sort of depression..